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Aug 29, 2010


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Good post!
It would be nice if You could write more on the subject. I mean - in more details for every step, especially step 3, that it the most difficult (at least for me). Would be nice to see and learn from You, how You handle habit change in more details.


PS. Great blog :)


Step 4, not 3 as i wrote in upper comment.

Jakub Petrykowski


Thanks for the kind word.

I have a vague feeling that step 4 is by far the hardest when it comes to habits (assuming someone is open to change in the first place).

I had a brief conversation on this topic with a friend a few days ago; she said that maybe changing habits is so hard because every time you are tempted to do something the "old" (bad) way, it takes effort not to. And since we generally minimize effort, we are bound to fail once in a while (or even all the time :).

Anyway, I am amazed how hard it is to make long lasting change with even conceptually simplest habits (smoking, junk food etc.). I will gladly write about it more, though I don't know if I am particularly good at it :)

I mentioned long term perspective and instant gratification in an earlier post on habits (http://blog.petrykowski.net/2010/05/why-is-it-so-hard-to-do-what-should-be-done.html). I will give it some more thought, and maybe do some research. Who knows, perhaps there are good practical answers already?


You're probably aware (or maybe not) about the steps that you need to take to change some behavior (the original English terminology could differ as in my case it's a Dutch -> English -> Polish -> [long time] -> English translation).

1. Unaware + old/bad behavior
2. Aware + old/bad behavior
3. Aware + new/good behavior
4. Unaware + new/good behavior

Mapping to your steps would be following:

- your's step one goes between mine 1&2,
- your's step two and three goes between mine 2&3
- and after some time we reach our final steps :-)

It works, it's fascinating and understanding it helped me to change from being loud & angry jerk into being semi-loud & reserved guy who's liked around :-)


p.s. what about the meditation post?!?

Jakub Petrykowski


I heard about the model you mentioned as four stages of competence:


Related article (thought I didn't read more on validity of the bias):


I still think that compared to most peers you are loud and hardly reserved - in informal settings though. I would love to see you in a more professional setting... maybe I should join one of your PMI workshops or presentations? :)

Re: meditation. I haven't been practicing lately, and I'd rather write about it in depth after I have actually made significant effort in this area. Or if you like, I could point you to a couple good resources and explain briefly (2 paragraphs) what it was like for me when I started / and how I did. Give me some time.


Meditation: I surely would!

About behavior... well... let's say semi-reserved. I'm making comparisons to old me and then the progress is incredible.

But... well... you know that for yourself - when you walk down the street most of people seem to be amazingly interested in their own shoes. It's not hard to stand out as a lil' bit louder than others in such a company...


yearning for a fresh dose of blog.petrykowski.net
but no updates in such a long time :(


or ... perhaps you have embarked on your travels to somewhere remote? pray tell us, all the more reason to update with some nice pics! :D

Jakub Petrykowski

Jo, I will come back to writing soon. I haven't left Wroclaw yet, though I want to depart soon. Give me a few days :)

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